The double standard in ‘The Bachelor’ and ‘The Bachelorette’

If you are an avid watcher of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” like me, you know that a lot of drama arises.

You also know that when there are three contestants left, known as the Fantasy Suites, it is typical for the Bachelor or Bachelorette to sleep with more than one of the remaining contestants.

In this most recent season, where Clayton was the Bachelor, a lot of drama ensued due to him being intimate with two women and plans to be intimate with a third.

The front-runner, Susie, told Clayton that it was a deal-breaker if he had sex with any of the other women.

However, she did this after he had already done so.

Clayton was very upset because of the miscommunication and acted, in my opinion, in a very human way.

I guess my opinion is unpopular, because many people took to social media to call Clayton a gas-lighter, a player, and to shame him for sleeping with two of the women and falling for all three.

However, it is very common for the season’s lead to sleep with all of the remaining contestants.

It is also somewhat common that they also fall in love with more than one person.

But for some reason, Clayton received a lot of backlash.

He was genuinely in love with Susie.

Thus, hearing that there is nothing he could do to save the relationship and that he unknowingly jeopardized it really sent him into a spiral.

He was clearly upset at Susie for not communicating her boundaries and reacted in a way I believe most of us would have if we were in his situation.

Was his reaction perfect?


But no one is.

I think those who watch the show are so accustomed to the Bachelor not showing raw emotion.

When Clayton did so, they saw him as being unnecessarily upset.

Clayton himself even said that he would have done things differently with the other women if Susie had communicated with him prior to the dates.

I saw tweets that were on the offensive against Clayton, stating that it should be obvious to not sleep with multiple women.

However, there was one Bachelorette, Hannah B, who was praised for sleeping with multiple men multiple times.

Twitter took to her defense and praised her for embracing her sexuality.

To my recollection, she had also fallen in love with more than one person.

Rather than being called disingenuous, she received a lot of sympathy.

People view sex differently.

For some, it is a sacred form of intimacy that should only be shared with someone you love.

For others, it’s just fun and can have little to no meaning behind it.

As well as anything in between.

This season really opened my eyes to the standards placed on the Bachelor versus the Bachelorette.

I think a lot of it is due to this being a society where many women live by the philosophy of “all men suck.”

As a woman myself, I know that there are many double standards against us.

But if we hate double standards so much, why do we create them against men?

That makes us no better.

Everyone needs to start seeing people for more than just their gender or other demographic traits.

Yes, they can be important parts of one’s identity, but it should not dictate the standards we place upon them.

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