Online dating distracts from forming real connections

We live in a time where everything is made to be as convenient as possible.

We shop online, order groceries online and now even date online, but is it a good thing?

Dating in general has always been hard for me. I just didn’t do it in high school because that was easier than trying to work through the feelings of anxiety and dread I got anytime I thought of getting close to a guy.

In theory, online dating should then make it easier for me, right? Wrong.

There are certain expectations that have to be upheld online.

Your life has to look as perfect as possible so that guys might be fooled by the façade and swipe right.

It’s absolutely exhausting trying to find attractive pictures of yourself that don’t show any of your flaws. On top of that, you have to have a killer bio to be noticed.

For me, all of these pressures create an insane amount of anxiety, and that’s before even thinking about actually talking to anyone or meeting up with them.

My head instantly runs wild with the most ridiculous thoughts anyone can come up with.

What if the guy who takes interest in me is a serial killer? Even worse, what if he’s actually a Trump supporter?

We’re sacrificing our own safety to meet up with a guy who might kind of look like his pictures.

Why is this the way we decided dating should be? It shouldn’t be full of fake pictures and lying about your hobbies and interests.

Dating should be about trying to make a real connection with somebody.

It can be hard to meet people in real life, but that’s only because we make it that way. We ignore each other in classes and club meetings. We don’t make an effort in real life anymore.

I personally would much rather have someone get to know the real me.

I want a guy to ask me out while I’m in sweat pants with my hair a mess and no makeup on.

Then I’d know that he’s actually into me and not the version of myself that I’m pretending to be online.

I still might wonder if he’s a serial killer, but at least I’d know exactly what he looks like and what his intentions are.

Most guys online only care about one thing: hooking up.

I don’t blame them; it’s an incredibly convenient way to meet someone to hook up with in a timely manner, but that doesn’t work when you’re looking for something real.

I’m not interested in hooking up, and that alone would make it incredibly hard for me to date online.

I’m all for technology and posting on the internet, but I try not to make my life seem too fake or perfect because it’s not.

Unfortunately, that’s just how dating apps work.

I’ll still get anxiety talking to someone in real life, but that’s something I could get over faster. The longer I talk to them, the easier it gets.

So while the first encounter might be weird, it would be a lot better than how I would feel online.

The whole process would give me anxiety, from creating the profile all the way up to actually meeting up with them. And that’s if I could even bring myself to do that.

I think we all need to take a step back and ask ourselves if we’re making life too easy.

Maybe we should bring dating back to real life, even if it’s harder. It may be more work, but it might help create real, deep connections that most of us just don’t have right now.

Alyssa McMillan

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